The Book of Questions

In the spirit of this blog’s subhead (Questions and answers, but mainly questions.) I thought I would post a passage from a favorite poet, Pablo Neruda. The following is from the inside sleeve:

“In The Book of Questions, Pablo Neruda refuses to be corralled by the rational mind. Composed entirely of unanswerable couplets, the poems integrate the wonder of a child with the experiences of an adult. Whether comic, surreal, or Orphic, Neruda’s poignant questions lead the reader beyond reason into realms of sudden intuition and pure imagination.”

There are some fascinatiing elements to this book. For one, on a corporate scale, the questions(only 3-6 couplets per page) play off one another over a span of many pages. Page 10 rings a bit with page 9, and page 17 reminds us of something … what was it (::flipping back::), ah yes – here it is on page 10 – but not so much on 9. Get it?

As a Christian – I also find myself becoming a little unsettled as a I read. Neruda seems to be blasting away some foundations. In other words, I find myself losing my footing a little bit as I contemplate these quetions. Though unanswerable, I am drawn to ponder them. Thinking on this stuff is like drinking that second glass of wine. My heart warms up, converstation starts flowing, but I’m not sure if I’m speaking wisdom or sticking my foot in my mouth. Anyway, I’ll start you off with a tame one and follow it up with a not-so-tame one.

pg.3

“Tell me, is the rose naked
or is that her only dress?

Why do trees conceal
the splendor of their roots?
Who hears the regrets
of the thieving automobile?

Is there anything in the world sadder
than a train standing in the rain?”

pgs. 70-71

“What forced labor
does Hitler do in hell?

Does he paint walls or cadavers?
Does he sniff the fumes of the dead?

Do they feed him the ashes
of so many burnt children?

Or, since his death, have they given him
blood to drink from a funnel?

Or do they hammer into his mouth
the pulled gold teeth?

Or do they lay him down to sleep
on his barbed wire?

Or are they tattooing his skin
for the lamps in hell?

Or do black mastiffs of flame
bite him without mercy?

Or must he travel without rest,
night and day with his prisoners?

Or must he die without dying
eternally under the gas?”

Christmas Tree Trippin’

Thank you to everyone who convinced me to lay off the caffeine. Now I’ve started hallucinating. Either that or someone really left a 7ft. christmas tree on my doorstep last night along with a big red bag of lights and ornaments and no note or evidence of where the items were purchased. The fact that Jaimes kept pointing at it, saying “twee! twee!” as if to ask, “what’s with the giant holiday tree on our door mat?” reassured me I wasn’t just jonesing for the java.

Why would someone do this? Are they offended by the 4ft. Charlie Brown tree already standing proudly on the coffee table in our livingroom corner/office? Have they mistaken us for someone else? I can only assume it’s from some acquaintence of Kimberly Morton – the prior tenant who never forwarded her mail, which is currently coming to us daily in the form of Christmas cards, cooking magazines, and various women’s clothing catalogs. We sincerely hope the mysterious tree-gifter learns of his mistake before the holiday is over. I’d say there is around $150 – $250 worth of tree and tree accessories currently sitting on our doorstep awating the emabarrased return of our anonymous decoration-angel. Weird.

And… Thank you, Rachel. The Narnia Rap made my morning!

stuff to learn & time to burn … or not.

Last night, driving home from slingin’ coffee, I got really excited about the website I’m working on for Love A Child. I’ve been trying to force a design for a couple weeks that just isn’t right for our organization. Last night I caught a vision for something much better. At 11:00 pm, caffeine coursing through my veins, I was telling Kristin all about it.

“This is the career for you,” she said. “This is right where you should be.”

“Why do you say that?” I asked as I hung up my jacket.
“Because you can afford to be indecisive for a while – in fact, it’s a good thing. You’re always like. ‘I’m doing this with my life – no wait, I’m going to do this. Or … maybe I’ll do this other thing instead.’ Your job right now kind of requires you to keep questioning what you’re doing.” (This is paraphrased – Kristin was actually much less wordy.)

So anyway – I’m stoked about my new idea. Here’s my problem: I’m horrible with time management (cue blog). In the past I’ve gotten along all right despite my daydreaming, unbridled web-surfing, and debilitating adversity to multi-tasking. Why is this becoming an issue now? A little background:
Hired on here a few months ago as a graphic designer, I was told that – eventually – we would want to bring our website in-house and that they’d pay for my learning curve (because I told them in my interview I’d never touched web design before). This was all true – which is awesome because I’m getting payed handsomely to learn a very valuable skill. What wasn’t so clear was that “eventually” bringing our site in-house really meant “ideally by February ‘06.”

Furthermore – I’m a perfectionist, or at least I really, really try to be. What I mean is, though I’m not meticulous, I do like to do good work. Since I’m the only web designer here, this is going to mean learning a lot more than just graphics for the web. Tackling all of this for the first time, my studying is taking a lot of tangents (and coffee breaks). I’ve got a fairly decent handle on CSS and XHTML. Now, while continuing to enhance those skills, I’m wanting to learn PHP, Javascripting, and get better in Flash. Does anyone have any suggestions on 1) developing better time management skills and/or 2) streamlining my flow of learning in these areas (e.g. CSS – PHP – Java – Flash – etc.)?

The good news is I’m really motivated to learn and have covered a lot of ground in a short amount of time. The bad news is I’m really motivated because I’m very caffienated and coffee renders me both wildly imaginative and mournfully unproductive (once again – I’m still writing this blog instead of learning or actually making something). I’m afraid to quit caffeine because, while I may get more done, I’m worried my work will be mediocre. It makes me think I ought to pray for a natural spirit of excitement tempered with some focus/sobriety.
I guess I’m really juiced right now because I read some articles on A List Apart that I’d been looking for for a while. I also stumbled on another really helpful site that answered some technique conundrums I’ve been facing concerning rounded edges and CSS.

Seriously though – ANY advice is appreciated. Unless you just tell me to make a list. I need intense help because all previous attempts to actually make a list and then both maintain it and keep it handy have fallen short of success.

Superman Returns

The reason I like Superman more than any comic hero is precisely the reason many find him dull.  I have heard (or maybe read) it argued that his episodes are boring because nobody can beat him.  His abilities seem endless and there is little suspense because we never doubt he will win.  Some graphic novelists have attempted to remedy this by killing him off or turning him bad or making him meet his physical match while ignoring his moral superiority.  But I think they’ve missed it.  What makes Superman exciting isn’t a lot of dangerous suspense – but rather the deep literary suspense.  His abilities amplify everything about his story.  His relationships are as important as he is.  His secrets are as important as those they protect.  Unlike other heros, constantly running from fight to fight, Superman is a superhero with time on his hands.  In order for him to be interesting, we must see more than crimefighting.  We must know about his inner-struggle because it’s the part of him we identify with.

I have argued for a long time, despite the mocking of friends, family, and even my wife, that Superman’s story is rich with Christian symbolism.  Come June, 2003 there will be ample cause for discussion on this thanks to Bryan Singer’s (director of X-Men and X-Men 2) new movie – Superman Returns, which is currently in post-production. Though I wouldn’t call myself a fan (I’ve never even owned a comic), I do hold a deep appreciation for the icon (I have worn the underwear).  If you care to share in my excitement, I highly suggest you check out the most recent trailer.  If you want to share in my obsession, you should also check out bluetights.net.

Chick-fil-A For The Sinner’s Soul

I’ve been feeling guilty the past few days. I erred in the “color me caffeinated” post (which I will hereto refer to as “the previous post”). My error was in my attitude toward and perception of those who do work in the fast food industry. The Starbucks rant began as a simple explanation of my background with the company and my recent rehiring there. The post got ugly when I let my guard down and my personal prejudices emerged.

What right do I have to question the respectability of the cashier’s position at Wendy’s? Why make distinctions between espresso pouring and burger flipping? Am I a holier human because I wear a green apron instead of a maroon one? My day job pays better than my night job. Should I respect my coworkers at Love A Child more than those at sbux because they make more money? Have they earned my respect because they use desks and computers instead of shot glasses and coffee urns. What’s lowly about that kind of attitude?

Admittedly – my conviction here is not self-induced. I’m not so thoughtful as to have sat back and recognized my own attitude as wicked. The day after the previous post my family and I visited a good friend’s Chick-fil-A. To those who haven’t partaken – it kicks the kentucky-fried-crap out of KFC. Colonel’s got nothin’ on the pro-active cows. So, we’re eating our heavily discounted value meals (knowing the store’s operator evidently comes with some perks) and he sits down to join us for lunch. That’s when the previous post came to mind again. I felt horrible. Here’s an admirable man whom I respect immensely and he manages the very same kind of establishment I was verbally pissing on the day before. His employees are kind, hard working people – one of whom occasionally leads our congregation in worship. In my self-centeredness, I mocked a man who has led me straight to the foot of the cross. Not offering even to buy him lunch, instead I scoffed at him for serving it.

Two things upset me – one more than the other. What upsets me most is that I thought I was better than this. I thought I was lowlier than this – more humble – more of an advocate for equality among men of different classes. I thought I was less reactionary and more discerning. I thought I was more loving and less pompous. I’m upset with myself and afraid of how much I may have hurt the feelings of some people I love through careless, thoughtless, and altogether foolish words.

I’m also upset at how quickly I led others to voice this same disdainful attitude. I was assured by many that I was better than “them.” I recognize that it was the previous post that prompted these responses. I can only hope this post prompts repentance among any repeat readers.

I’ve thought about removing the previous post, but I’ve concluded that would be insincere. Instead, as a picture of how Jesus has wiped out my sin, I’ve stricken through my haughty words. They remain as a reminder of my ugliness, but are struck through as a picture of the promised beauty.

Color me caffeinated

As of last week I am offically a Starbucks Barista … again … for the the second time. Little known fact: I have worked for and quit from Starbucks twice in two different cities before my most recent rehire here in beautiful Dallas. A sophomore at the University of Minnesota and fresh into my first apartment, I “worked” one shift for 3 hours in late September of 2000. No sooner was I handed my green apron then I returned it – a little disappointed at my lack of endurance. But way more sleepy than disappointed. Turns out a five o’clock AM start time and a 12:30 PM History of Journalism class don’t mix very well. I opted for the education. Woops.

I might’ve have forgotten about the incident had I not recieved a W2 the following January for $23 I didn’t received. The manager smirked when I asked if she still had my check. I eventually recieved payment after a rather lengthy conversation with the corporate office.

Jump ahead 4 years. New to Austin, TX, with a wife, a baby, and pretty much no plan, I needed a fast job. Michele at the Brodie Oaks store was gracious enough to hire me, train me, and proceed to slave drive me on the espresso bar. I spent nine months (Novmber to August) at that store. Rich, Matt, and (mainly) Amhir Hidalgo made my time there thoroughly enjoyable. Then I got a real job.

Jump to Dallas. I’m working as a graphic designer for a nonprofit and loving it. We’ve incurred some unexpected medical bills and there’s a Starbucks across the street. The bills were an excellent excuse to give up on quitting coffee. I signed up once again in order to “catch up financially.” Free coffee aside.

I thought it was kind of cool until the other day when an acquaintence suggested I “knew what she meant” about having to deal with people because I “work in fast food.” I don’t offend easily – and I’m kind of ashamed that I was. But I was. Fast food emplyee? Is this the general public’s perception of me? Should I care? Is it wrong to quietly hate this woman?

Whatever. To hell with the public perception. That’s where it’s headed on most things anyway. I like making drinks. I enjoy serving coffee. And I love walking to and from work. Maybe I need to be put in my place here – if so, please post. But I think the position of a barista, though it’s no apprenticeship to Martha Stewart, is a fairly respectable job.

Google Videos are Taking Over

A couple weeks ago, Kevin was praising google for google print – a search engine allowing us to search through all of the world’s books. Today, I’m here to tell you about something much more benefical to mankind. Google Video searches the web for any video content containing your search criterion. It’s AMAZING. It’s also a fantastic waste of time. Ever since the (ironic) commercialisation of adcritic.com – there has been a browser-window shaped hole in my heart. Friends, that void has been filled! Pete and I have been sharing our favorites back and forth via email for a couple days. I invite you to post yours in the comments section.

Here are just a few clips to whet your appetite: The Russian Climber (pictured above), BMW M5 vs. Audi RS4, Soccer Skills, Ghost Car, and Jin vs. Verse.